The story: To be or not to be dissapointed

Posted by Claudia Moser on 3:49 PM

Sometimes I wonder if I don't allow too much freedom in my presence. At the moment sitting at the airport in Tallinn and having a true debate with myself.

While being a leader of a team, which is the freedem degree which you allow your team members to have? How much looseness is possible in communication? When does respect and common sense kick in? To be honest at the moment I am pretty dissapointed, I have the feeling that I allowed a little too much and somehow I do not know how to rebalance the situation.

One method which I used was total silence in the car on the way from Narva to Tallinn and since I am no silent person at all (some could vouch for that!), the situation was unusual and even for those who are not very sensible, the atmosphere was visible. I need to get this out of my system, I am somehow too upset and too hurt. Yes, this is the word, hurt and dissapointed. So I guess this weekend will be dedicated to some more thinking, a true material to be catalogued under food for thought.

So now my question to you, my readers. How do you deal with similar situations? How do you react when people are rude, kind of offend you and get within your private sphere? And these people are your own team members. Any hints? Any tips on what to do next?

While I was writing this, I was alone and I thought I'd have peace, now one by one my colleagues are coming by and to be honest I'd wish I was alone, but hey Tallinn airport is a small one, you cannot dissapear that easily. How I wish it would be possible. That would be a nice dream wouldn't it?

I will be flying soon, that is good, I will be alone within a crowd. But maybe tomorrow will be better, one can only hope!

Motto

"A story is not like a road to follow … it's more like a house. You go inside and stay there for a while, wandering back and forth and settling where you like and discovering how the room and corridors relate to each other, how the world outside is altered by being viewed from these windows. And you, the visitor, the reader, are altered as well by being in this enclosed space, whether it is ample and easy or full of crooked turns, or sparsely or opulently furnished. You can go back again and again, and the house, the story, always contains more than you saw the last time. It also has a sturdy sense of itself of being built out of its own necessity, not just to shelter or beguile you."
by Alice Munro

Sush says:

6:30 PM

Aww Claudia, sounds like you are having a tough go of it. I've found that keeping to myself, like you are doing is the best for me. Once I open the floodgates it can be a lot of damage control when I'm that upset with a group. Usually people who are insensitive never seem to 'get it' anyway.

I hope they turn to other interests and the trip improves.

Hugs~

Sarah Tokeley says:

7:46 PM

Aww Claudia, was it yesterday that I hoped you'd have a better day tomorrow? The sentiment still stands.

*Hugs* to you.

Claudia Moser says:

9:53 PM

@Rita - thank you!
@Sush - you may be right, well in end I left just to have some silence!
@Sarah - I hope so! Thanks!

Desiree says:

7:31 PM

I think that when someone oversteps the boundary of politeness and crosses into familiarity (there's a good reason for that old saying "familiarity breeds contempt") the ONLY way to deal with it, is to do it soon if not sooner! You need to be firm and quietly frank and state what the person did to offend. But, of course, not in front of others, or within their earshot, either. It needs to be personally directed to the offending party. You make it clear that this is not acceptable and that a repeat scenario will not be tolerated.

7:35 PM

@Desiree - I think you are right! I will do so on Monday, thanks for the advice!